I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
