do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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