Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
