remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
