I wish my penis had an off switch
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
