I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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