Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
