If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
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