Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
