Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
