No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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