i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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