About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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