I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
