Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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