I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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