I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
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