that's an acceptable place to lick
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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