butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
