just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
