enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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