You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
