Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
