I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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