I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
