You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize
