you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
