Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Randomize
