Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
