She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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