New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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