Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
