I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
