im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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