you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Randomize
