Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
