FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
