Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
