I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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