How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
