did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
