Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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