I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
