I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
