You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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