he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
