I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Randomize
