so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
