i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
