I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
